Insights in the first week of school...
I never cease to amaze myself
After only four days of school, and hardly even that, I am already begining to find reasons and justifications to miss classes. It's funny, in theory, I love school and I love Psychology, but the second things go from "oh that class would be interesting" to "shit, I have work to do" I loose all intrest. It's like I've always been, if there is anything I have to do, I suddenly do not want to do it, regardless of what it may be. Is it just that after years of defying authority and living by my own terms that I know no other way?
So far my "gold star attendance" is at a record 4 days. As I sit here on my computer, in my pj's, drinking coffee baily's, at 8:45am, I am seriously debating whether or not I am going to class for 11.
When I was registering for my classes, I opted to start later this year because last year I often missed morning classes after working at BP's until late the previous night. However, even that plan backfired becuase rather than being less-likely to sleep in, I get up earlier , but by the time I am to be getting ready to leave, my body thinks that I have the day off or something (because I've been lying around for hours) and I find it even harder to get going then had I had an earlier class.
I am damned if I do, and I am damned if I don't!
For the last almost year, I have been trying to find reasons and plans to increse attendance and motivate me to go to class but the problem is, I am not willing to sacrifice anything to work towards gaining it!
It's like there is a battle between my mind and body; I know that I really should go to class, after all it ends up being less work in the long run, but even as I get ready for school, suddenly I find my body sitting down and before I know it I hardley have time to get out the door!
I know that my success in school will be reflected by the effort I put in to it, and so far, I have had a passive, half-assed attempt at it.
The sad thing is, that once I feel the pressures of deadlines and exams I will find some much needed energy to get moving but right now I still feel in limbo. Even though I have a midterm in 8 days, I don't feel as if I need to be doing anything yet......What is wrong with me?!!
I never cease to amaze myself
After only four days of school, and hardly even that, I am already begining to find reasons and justifications to miss classes. It's funny, in theory, I love school and I love Psychology, but the second things go from "oh that class would be interesting" to "shit, I have work to do" I loose all intrest. It's like I've always been, if there is anything I have to do, I suddenly do not want to do it, regardless of what it may be. Is it just that after years of defying authority and living by my own terms that I know no other way?
So far my "gold star attendance" is at a record 4 days. As I sit here on my computer, in my pj's, drinking coffee baily's, at 8:45am, I am seriously debating whether or not I am going to class for 11.
When I was registering for my classes, I opted to start later this year because last year I often missed morning classes after working at BP's until late the previous night. However, even that plan backfired becuase rather than being less-likely to sleep in, I get up earlier , but by the time I am to be getting ready to leave, my body thinks that I have the day off or something (because I've been lying around for hours) and I find it even harder to get going then had I had an earlier class.
I am damned if I do, and I am damned if I don't!
For the last almost year, I have been trying to find reasons and plans to increse attendance and motivate me to go to class but the problem is, I am not willing to sacrifice anything to work towards gaining it!
It's like there is a battle between my mind and body; I know that I really should go to class, after all it ends up being less work in the long run, but even as I get ready for school, suddenly I find my body sitting down and before I know it I hardley have time to get out the door!
I know that my success in school will be reflected by the effort I put in to it, and so far, I have had a passive, half-assed attempt at it.
The sad thing is, that once I feel the pressures of deadlines and exams I will find some much needed energy to get moving but right now I still feel in limbo. Even though I have a midterm in 8 days, I don't feel as if I need to be doing anything yet......What is wrong with me?!!
posted by G-SpotG @ 8:44 a.m.
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